As the tide turns from misandrist centered feminism to genuine equality, society has become more open to the idea that we need to protect our young boys from sexual predators the same way we strive to protect our girls. Sexual maturity doesn’t come to any child faster based solely on gender. Additionally, the narrative is shifting about young boys initiation into sex. Alleged well-meaning fathers and father figures have solicited older women to seduce young men into losing their virginity.
Many males also quietly confide in a trusted partner or friend that they were preyed upon by friends of elders in their family or some older woman in their neighborhood. Because masculinity and sexuality have been linked so intricately, these situations were framed as sexual conquests despite these young men not being old enough to handle the emotional and mental weight of exchanging sexual energy. It also shapes the way young men see women, as well as model predatory behavior which they often later adopt.
As the scope of how sex effects ones body is broadened, people are learning that you exchange much more than fluids, and the pitfalls include more than just unwanted pregnancy and STIs. In order to remove stigma from sex we must begin with healthy introductions into sexuality, believe and support victims when these healthy guidelines are not followed, and create a safe space for men to explore without judgment. The seek and conquer “sport” mentality of social engagement is long overdue for change.
It’s essential that room is made for men to experience the full realm of touch and sexual exploration that is afforded to women. We need to allow men to feel soft, nurtured, and coddled. We need to create spaces where all kinds of touch are acceptable without reservations or fear. If a man decides not to participate in any behaviors, they should be on his own accord and not rooted on what society would think, or what society has conditioned him to believe he has to think about himself. And if he dares to engage in unconventional sexual behaviors he should be free to do so without judgement.
Society limits so many things that are out of our control, don’t allow it to stifle one of the deepest expressions of connection too. Men need to be able to love in a wide spectrum of expressions.
Written By Lola Lepaon
