The Autumn season signals change, it represents evolution — a time to recalibrate. It’s a time to ditch bad habits and replace them with new processes. So how does this relate to grooming? Below is a checklist, or Ten Grooming Commandments that we should all keep in our mental cabinets. No, you won’t be sent to Hell if you don’t follow them, but you’ll have a hell of a hard time catching a date, keeping a job, or anything else that requires that you be at least remotely attractive and pleasant smelling. So read on, the grooming god’s have spoken — and they’ve got some helpful tips and tricks that help you stay clean this season.
Thou shall not replace shaving cream (with hot water)
When it relates to the face, there shall be no compromise. Replacing shaving cream with soap and hot water will only come back to bite you in the end. When you shave, you literally scrape skin cells off of your face. What happens when you scrape your knee and don’t use an antibiotic sav? That’s right, you scab. If you don’t replenish the moisture lost, you are sure to suffer from razor burn, ingrown hairs, a rougher skin texture, or all of the above. You’re only cheating yourself if you don’t use a lubricant (get your mind out of the gutter).
Thou shall not wear armpit stain shirts
This one should be obvious, but you’d be surprised. How many of us have tried to excuse the stain on that aged v-neck? You don’t get a pass because you’re a “hardworking man”. Besides when did hard working and not being clean become mutually exclusive? It looks sloppy and reeks of neglect and failure to pay attention to detail. If you’re in the mirror trying to convince yourself that you may, or may not, be able to wear the stained shirt — err on the side of caution.
Thou shall not let nails grow outrageously
Number 3 should have been number 1 to me (Biggie voice). No reason to sugar coat this one fellas, long, dirty nails are just — gross. A home trim or even a treat at the nail salon will get your fingers and toes back in a place. Leaving the house with dirt built up and pimp-length nails should be a hard no, because it definitely is if you’re trying to have a romantic life. You’ll be good, just visit your local Walgreens or Target for a stainless steel nail clipper. It’s pure magic.
Thou shall moisturize lips
The fall brings cool winds and sometimes harsh previews of winter. Our skin and sensitive areas like lips need to be actively cared for. Unless you enjoy dry, chapped, and cracked lips, you’ll want to stay equipped with a medicated lip balm. Some lip balms are packed with shea butter to ensure moisture and protect the lips from the cold front. Let the kisses reign when your partner sees your lips healthy and hydrated!
Thou shall not skip showers
As filthy as this may sound, it happens more than you know. Do yourself a favor — add an additional twenty minutes to your shower routine, get all the nooks and crevices to ensure you’re actually clean. Your partner or anyone who smells you may not forgive you if you neglect this. With a new season also comes the opportunity to restock on a refreshing body wash that’ll leave you smelling like royalty. Remember, cleanliness is next to godliness.
Thou shall care for the scalp
Clean hair is vital for a multitude of reasons. When your hair is dirty, it’s harder to style. It also stinks, as your hair attracts dirt and smell like smoke and sweat. The dirt can also clog hair follicles and cause hair loss. Put simply — wash, condition and comb your hair, we all see the difference when you do.
Thou shall not wear the same underwear twice
As foolish as this may sound it happens more than we can count. Many of us try to justify why it’s okay to wear some of the same under garments twice like we didn’t just spend a whole day in them. You may not have detectives checking your private areas for cleanliness but all the evidence can definitely still be smelled. From your underwear to socks, fungus builds and can become harmful to your skin if not cleaned properly. There’s no excuse to let this pass, so buy enough undies to get you through the month, or spring for that all-in-one washer and dryer for the crib.
Thou shalt get haircuts (routinely)
At this point in one’s life, we shouldn’t need our friends or partners tell us it’s time for a cut. With so many styles and barbers available to us, getting your hair cut twice a month shouldn't be that challenging . A haircut is a healing experience. Spending time at the shop is like spending time at the psychiatrist, the sports bar, the library and the dice game rolled into one. If you don’t have a barber, try to cultivate a healthy, client-barber relationship with one who cuts you the best. Pull out that Google calendar and begin to add those hair appointments so you get reminders, outside of the jokes your boys hit you with.
Thou shall not covet one’s grooming supplies
We’re all guilty of it. It’s an easy grab to go to our partner’s cabinet and test everything. By the end, we may smell like flowers, vetiver and have a face glistening like the center of Times Square by using too much facial cream. Let this be a lesson: get your own supplies. Some tools may come in handy to ask your partner but it’s mostly up to you to have your own arsenal. Remember, what works for your partner or loved one may not necessarily work effectively for you.
Thou shall keep the bathroom clean
This behavior often gets overlooked but this is a crucial part of your grooming routine. The bathroom is the sanctuary or laboratory where all the “grooming magic happens.” We use this just as much as we use our phones. Don’t let grime build up in the tub or leave those loose hairs on the sink. Remember, presentation is everything and the bathroom is one that requires consistent TLC.
Written by Darius Davie