Respect The Curve

Some guys have been curved. A lot. Been ghosted. Been stood up. To be fair, we’ve done our share of the same. However, it doesn’t make it hurt any less damnit. Here’s the thing, though — there’s a way to take your curve in strides, and also preempt the curve by seeing the curve before it happens, and dipping out with your heart unscathed, your ego intact and your balls...well, ya’ balls may still weep for you silently. Here are some clues that the curve is underway:

 

  1. They respond differently in texts. You can feel it. It used to be “Lemme come over and steal that hoodie” and now your text messages read like an episode of your little niece’s favorite cartoon series. Throw in the towel.
  2. What selfies? Remember when you ain’t even ask for one? You just wake up in the morning and BAM! You got hit with all the exclusive no-watermark-not-on-IG joints. Now, you’re relegated to leaving eggplant emojis under her Bermuda trip pics. Speaking of…
  3. You find out about their day through social media. Before, they would let you know about weekend getaway plans. Now you and @isucktoes finding out at the same time.
  4. They tweet subs and ain’t none of them you. Remember when they tweeted, “Joe’s Pizza was da bomb!” and you JUST went there with them?! Now they're writing “I need my booty rubbed” and you’ve been on read for a week? Yeah, playa. Your membership rights just got canceled.

 

You can send a text like “Hey! I peeped the shift in energy. If things are different let me know…” or you can just fall back without a peep. But, skip facetiming him/her that 89th time. It ain’t worth it. Whoever wants to be there will be consistent with how they show up. Oh, and if ANYONE hits you with the “I just wanna focus on my career,” don’t believe them and TRUST they’re feeling someone else, or just not feeling you. Cool? Cool.